War and Solitude
by xgildedbutterfly
Summary: ONE-SHOT. He had to leave for the war, but she didn't want to be alone. "You don't love me anymore. That's why you're leaving again. You can't wait to be away from me." - "You know that's not true." / WARNING: adult themes.


**I was bored. This is the result. Please excuse grammar/spelling mistakes.**

**~Lena**

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"Edward, _please_."

The young man closed his eyes in a kind of tiredness that his companion did not notice. Or perhaps she didn't care, since she never ceased her rant anyhow.

"Don't go. Please, Edward. What am I going to do without you? I won't be able to bear it any longer..."

Feeling like it had become some sort of speech in his house—after all, it was their only topic of conversation for over a week and he had it memorized quite well by now—he replied in an exasperated tone, "I have to, Bella. If I don't go back...they need me..."

"Not as much as _I_ need you—as _we_ need you," she corrected herself, and continued, her voice becoming shriller by the second. "That's it, though, isn't it? You don't _care_. _You don't care about us anymore_." She placed her palm on her lips as her voice quavered.

Edward did not like her new train of thought, and was seconds away from yelling at her, something he'd never done to a woman before. He was usually a quiet, reserved person, and it was true, when he got mad he let it get the best of him; yelling expletives and generally appearing scary and loud. One only had to ask his comrades to know. But he was never that way around a lady—at least, not until now, his patience wearing thinner and thinner the more she kept talking.

He restrained himself, closed his eyes and rubbed his temple with his fingers, which slowly made its way down to pinch the bridge of his nose, as if he had a particularly bad headache. He let her talk, let her vent, but with closed eyes and balled fists, trying to remain calm and not say anything. After all, he knew what his wife was like, and knew he would regret it if he opened his mouth and accidentally said the wrong thing. This whole past week was full of wrong sayings.

He opened his eyes once he realized that she'd grown quiet, but only to dread doing so. There were tears streaming down her face, making her brown eyes look glassy and pretty. "You don't love me anymore. That's why you're leaving again. You can't wait to be away from me." She whimpered and turned her back on him, her shoulders trembling beneath her sheer nightgown.

"Bella, you know that's not true," he sighed. He hesitated before stepping forward and putting a hand gently on her back, leaning down to kiss her bare collarbone. "You don't know how badly I want it to be over. You think I enjoy being away like this? If it wasn't for the war—"

Apparently the word 'war' was a trigger. She whirled around, her face flushed and wet, and interrupted him again, the shrillness back in her voice, "STOP SAYING THAT! Who cares about the stupid war? We were happy until it decided to _ruin_ our lives. I still don't understand how you could leave me while I was having a child." She was sobbing now and didn't notice how he flinched. "I hope we lose. I hope it would all be for nothing."

He was losing his patience with her. "How can you say that? How can you be so ignorant?" he snapped, disbelief and a note of fury in his voice. It gave the woman before him some satisfaction. At least he wasn't acting like a robot anymore. It was what infuriated her most; he was always so damn calm.

"It wouldn't make a difference to me anyway. Do you know what it's been like these past two years? No, you had to run off and be a _hero_. Every day I prayed for your return. I had NO ONE when Leo was born. Do you know that he barely recognizes you now—"

"That's enough, Bella. You've made your point." He clenched his teeth, but she went on.

"I mean, he's just turned 3. You've been away for more than half his life. He looks up to you and you constantly disappoint him. He's just a _baby_. Now he doesn't even care that his father hates to be around—"

"I said STOP IT. _Now_." He growled.

"What, too touchy to hear that you barely know your own kids? Do you know that there wasn't a day gone by where Peyton wouldn't ask when her dad would be back? Wouldn't cry for him? She barely says anything about you now."

"Bella, I'm warning you—"

"Go!" she screamed. "If you want to be away, then just _go_ already! I wish you would. The house is certainly more pleasant without you around."

"Bella!" He had stepped forward and pushed her against the nearest wall. The room was ringing with his wife's fresh new sobs.

"Let—me—_go_! I hate you. I HATE you!" He stopped her flailing arms by pinning them on the wall at her sides. "You give me nothing but pain."

There was a wounded expression on her husband's face. It gave her no satisfaction this time because it couldn't possibly match her own grief. "Bella, calm down. Please. I'm begging you. Just think about what you're saying for a second." His voice cracked, her harsh words having the affect she so desired.

"I don't want you to go. I'm so lonely; I hate this house and its emptiness. I don't want to lose you. Who knows what might happen once you're gone? You could get _killed_."

"I won't. I promise I won't—"

"But you don't know that," her face was screwed up with anguish and she took advantage of his loosened grip on her wrists to grab his lapels and shake him, desperate and hopeless now. "I will _die_ if you go."

"Don't be dramatic." He sighed.

"I don't want to live like this. I can't raise two kids on my own, Edward"—he opened his mouth, but she seemed to know what he was thinking—"no matter how many maids you bring to my aid. It's just not enough."

She grabbed his neck and leaned towards him, rising to the tips of her toes so that they were eye to eye. Her warm breathe washed over his face. Her lashes were stuck together by tears and she blinked at him. He didn't know how she could still look so pretty.

She leaned forward tentatively and placed her mouth on his. He could taste the saltiness of her tears on her lips. Glad for a chance to stop fighting, he kissed her back, slipping his tongue inside her ready mouth and reveling in how soft she was.

Bella made a whimper in the back of her throat and he pulled back, sighing, knowing that his moment of reprieve was over. But she didn't start yelling again, only slipped her arms around his middle and placed her head against the crook of his neck, nuzzling against his chest. Her new sobs racked her body and made her shake violently. He closed his eyes. At this point he didn't know what he could say to make her feel better. Desperate and helpless, he placed one hand on her waist and the other on the back of her head and let his fingers rush through her long curls in an attempt to soothe her.

"Shhhh," he coaxed in a rasp, kissing her hair. "My beautiful Bella. I love you much."

"Then stay," she pleaded against his neck, her voice muffled. "If you really love me, you wouldn't want me to get hurt. You would stay so we can be happy again."

He sighed. If only it were that simple. His neck was wet with her tears and he looked up at the ceiling, as if asking it what he should say without starting an argument again. Needless to say, it was pointless and he went back to stroking her hair. The room was mercifully quiet again for a few minutes, save for occasional shuddering gasps that emitted out of her.

Then there was a tiny, frightened voice from the doorway, "mommy?"

Both their heads shot up and looked towards the source of the sound. Leo and Peyton stood in the doorway, Peyton squeezing her teddy bear tightly to her chest, her eyes wide while Leo held onto her hand.

Edward sighed, before plastering on a small crooked grin to put them at ease. "Hii, how come you're up so late? Shouldn't you be in bed?"

Leo looked from him back to his mother. His pouty lips trembled when he repeated, "mommy."

Bella quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hands and put on a watery smile for him. "Yes, darling?"

It was Peyton who talked next, sounding scared, "momma...why are you crying?"

For a moment, she seemed to grapple for an appropriate response when Edward replied for her. "Oh, Mommy is just not feeling well right now. She has a bad tummy ache."

They looked from him and back to her for a few seconds, apparently not buying it.

Edward sighed and stepped forward toward them. He lifted Leo into his arms, carrying him back to where Bella was. Leo's green eyes were wide as he stared at her, and started filling immediately with his own tears upon seeing his mother like that.

"There, there..." Edward bounced him in his arms and kissed his cheek. "Don't cry. You have to be strong until mommy feels better. If you cry now she won't be able get well again, alright?"

Leo nodded, and wiped his eyes quickly with his small fists. Bella smiled and let out another involuntary sob, grabbing him from Edward and showering his face with kisses. "I'm already feeling so much better. I love you so much."

"I wuv you too, mommy." He said, burying his face in between her breasts.

"You should go back to bed, alright darling?" Leo nodded. "I will carry you to your room." She said and walked past Edward towards her daughter, smiled and held out her hand to her. Peyton managed a weak smile back and grabbed her hand, and together they left the room and into the hall towards the children's bedroom, leaving Edward standing there, looking conflicted and not knowing whether he should follow them or not.

When he arrived at the doorway to their room, he lingered on the frame and watched as Bella tucked Leo in and kissed his forehead, singing softly to him on top of his blankets. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, making his presence known.

Leo looked at him with those wide green orbs that were the exact same color as his, and held out his arms. "_Daddy_."

He stepped forward and sank into the bed next to Bella. He hugged his tiny body, not sure what else to do as he pulled back and looked into his expectant face.

"Edward, kiss him goodnight." Bella said flatly.

"Oh...alright." He leaned in and kissed his forehead and moved down to the tip of his little nose, kissing there too, and then his cheeks and soon he was leaving loud kisses all over his face. His hands found his tiny midriff and started tickling him, making him squirm and giggle loudly.

"Daddy! Ah! Stowp...pwease..." He squealed.

"Tell me you love me and I will!" He tickled harder.

"I wuv you! _Ow_! I wuv you!"

"How much do you love me?!"

Leo beamed up at him, his chubby face red, and opened his arms wide.

Edward stopped and grinned. "Well...alright. I guess that's good enough."

Placing one last kiss on his son's cheek, he stood up and made his way over to Peyton's bed, who had been watching them with a smile on her face, but looking and feeling a little left out.

He kissed her forehead too. "Mmm…my beautiful young lady. You're already so much prettier than your mommy, and I didn't think anyone could be prettier than her." He pretend whispered the last part loudly. Peyton giggled, her small teeth on full display, and her cheeks grew crimson.

"Hey!" said Bella, who had been watching the encounter with adoring eyes. This was everything she wanted. She tried to look affronted but failed miserably.

Edward looked up at her smiled his beautiful crooked smile and said, "what is it, mommy?"

"Nothing," she pouted.

Edward turned back to his daughter and winked cheekily.

"Alright, goodnight."

As the door shut behind them, they both quietly made their way back to their own bedroom. Bella lay down on the bed and covered herself with a blanket, making a rather obvious point of ignoring him. Edward exhaled and lay down next to her, spooning her from behind.

"Are we back to this again?"

She sniffed and didn't answer.

"Tomorrow is my last day. Please, Bella. We've done nothing but argue this week. I don't want my break to end like this. Just look at me."

At first, he didn't know if she was going to respond, but then she slowly shifted under the blanket and faced him. Her eyes a little red and puffy, cheeks pink and her full lips a deep red. She really was extremely beautiful.

He brought a hand out and wiped a stay tear from of her face, letting his fingers trail down until it reached her bottom lip and ran his thumb back and forth over it.

He leaned in at the same time she did. They both kissed passionately, making up for the week that they had wasted by arguing instead of enjoying their time together. His tongue darted out and touched hers gently, caressing her lips with his. Then he bit it lightly before pulling back. He removed a stray curl out of her face and looked into her brown doe eyes. "I love you. Don't you ever doubt that for a second."

She blinked at him, her lips trembling as she made an effort not to burst into tears again. The bed shifted as he removed the blanket and sat up on top of her, straddling her hips.

He dipped his head down and kissed her again, his hands finding the lacing on her nightgown and slowly pulling on it, and pushing the fabric apart as her breasts spilled out and he massaged the pillowy softness.

He left her mouth and continued kissing downwards until he found the weak spot between her neck and ear and started sucking on the vein in there. Bella's breathing became sharper, though this time for a completely different reason. She placed her hands back on his neck and grasped the collar of his shirt. Slowly, she trailed her hands downwards just like he had, until it rested on his solid, muscular chest.

"Edward..." She whimpered, as his mouth found her breast and started kissing it sloppily, sucking on her rosy nipple before adjusting his attention onto her other one.

He looked up at her from the valley between her breasts and quirked his lips.

"Now isn't this so much better than fighting?"

"Edward, I need you...please." She wanted him naked and inside her. It had been so, so long since they'd made love; it seemed like an eternity ago. She was aching for the stretch of his length in between her legs and his strong arms, holding her in place.

He sat up and removed her pale blue nightdress, her equally pale soft skin coming into view.

"Jesus Christ, it hurts to look at you sometimes. I could never get used to how beautiful you are." His voice was full of gravel now, indicating that he was just as worked up as she was.

Bella's heart was beating fast. _His words_, they never ceased to have this effect on her. She looked into his beautiful eyes and whimpered at the way he was looking at her.

"Do you want me to make love to you?" he asked, his breathing shallow and sweeping over her face.

"Yes. _God_, yes. I'm yours. Do whatever you want with me."

He gave her a peck on the lips and sat up again. He started unbuttoning his shirt, making her heart drum with anticipation in her chest, her eyes fixed on his hands' movement. When his shirt was off and his torso was bare, he propped himself on his arms and started kissing her feverishly again, her mouth, her neck, her breasts, her belly button and lower still until he was just above her sex. He looked up at her with hooded eyes and forced her thighs apart, kissing their insides until he was a breath away from where she ached for him.

"Edward..." it was a low moan. "Edward, wha—_Uhh_."

His mouth was suddenly on her wet center, kissing her, sucking and licking her, just like he had been kissing her mouth a few moments ago. His tongue flicked her nub, and he rubbed her center with his fingers. Her hands immediately found his silky hair, torn between pushing him off and keeping him in place so that he could never stop his slow torture.

"Edwa—aohhh." Her hips lifted off the bed, and he used his hands to force her back down. He pushed his middle finger just outside her center, not entering.

"_Yes_. Edward. I need you inside me." She pushed her hips against his fingers, hoping for some kind of friction.

He stopped her. "No...I want you tight, baby."

She moaned as he lifted from between her legs, and up and over her again.

"You have no idea how much I want you right now." His voice rumbled from deep within his chest, making her stomach clench and heat pull beneath her waist.

She put her hands on his chest. "Then take me, Edward. Please," she begged. Her hands went downwards and caressed the bulge straining against his pants. She opened her mouth and licked her lips. "You feel so big."

He groaned, moving to unbuckle his belt but she eagerly beat him to it and soon he was as naked as her. She took hold of his hardness and started stroking him slowly, making him throw his head back and groan with pleasure. His hoarse voice was doing wonderful things to her body. But he quickly confined her hands in one of his to stop her movements and pulled them up over her head.

She couldn't see his other hand and it made her heart flutter with anticipation. Sure enough, she could soon feel him nudging her entrance and slowly slide into her.

He stopped when he was all the inside of her wet heat, his breathing ragged. Bella squirmed uncomfortably; her body not used to his girth after such a long time, and took a while to adjust to him after he started thrusting slowly in and out.

"Edward...harder. Faster." She pushed her hips up but he forced her back down again.

"No." He croaked.

"I'm fine, it doesn't feel unpleasant. Please...just _move_." She exhaled.

Edward halted his movement and pulled out of her, ignoring her incredulous look. He put his arms underneath her legs and lifted them up until her knees touched her shoulders, grasped himself and slammed into her again.

"Fine." He grunted.

She screamed out his name, and he rushed to put a hand to her mouth, telling her to be quiet or she'd wake the kids up again. His thrusts were so fast now she was beginning to feel dizzy, and felt the familiar tingling sensation in her stomach, signaling her release. She clamped and pulsed around him.

"You gonna come?" Edward panted.

"Yes." She could barely breathe, barely utter the word. All she could do was moan and mumble incoherently.

"_Don't_. Not yet."

"Edward...I can't..." she cried out, wave after wave of pleasure hitting her, tightening her stomach.

"Yes you can. I don't want you to." She nodded, her brows pulled together with concentration.

He stopped, flipped her over onto her stomach and positioned himself behind her, slowly entering her again.

"Ugh...you're so tight." He strained, his teeth clenched, making his jaw line appear sharper than ever. He starting thrusting in and out of her again, swiftly and forcefully, kissing her collarbones and pushing her hair out of her face before squeezing her breasts.

The only sounds in the room now were of skin slapping against skin, and their harsh breathing. She swore she could now feel him in her stomach.

"Bella, baby, come for me. I want you to come for me." He gritted out as he rammed into her.

Bella felt near unconscious from all the pleasure coursing through her. "Edward, I'm so close."

"Come on baby, come for me." He gritted his teeth against his own orgasm, begging her to ride out her own.

"Ah!" She clenched her walls around him, finally coming undone, and triggering his own release as he shook and spilled into her, every muscle in his body tightened. She could feel the warm liquid spread inside of her. His thrusts soon became sloppy and shallow, and gradually, he stopped.

For a while they didn't move, both regaining their breath, waiting for their heartbeat to slow down and their bodies to stop shuddering. And then he pulled out of her and lay down, bringing her with him so that she lay snuggled against his chest.

He ran his hands soothingly through her hair as she lifted her head. Her face was flushed as she stared at his equally tired-looking, sweaty face, and kissed him goodnight, trying not to think about tomorrow morning when he would be gone again.

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**I was originally planning on putting this on FictionPress, but I decided I like FanFiction better.**

**Reviews are appreciated, so tell me what you think! x**


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